


Six Legs are Better than Eight

by NowThatsDedication



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Three's not a crowd, Tumblr: ImaginexHobbit, gross spiders
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-17
Updated: 2017-06-17
Packaged: 2018-11-15 09:32:59
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11228208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NowThatsDedication/pseuds/NowThatsDedication
Summary: You hate spiders, but Fili and Kili have your back. Two strong and fearless dwarf princes should be able to protect you from them... right?





	Six Legs are Better than Eight

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by ImagineXHobbit: Asking to share a room with Fili because you're afraid of spiders.
> 
> I found a nearly completed draft that I had forgotten about and figured it was cute enough to finish :)

> “Help! Please, I need help!”

Such a frantic knock on the door would wake anyone in a panic, but you don’t consider that - there are no manners in a crisis like this.

“Huh? What...what's going on?” He's partially awake, mostly dressed, and very confused, with a mass of golden hair flopped over his face.

“Fíli! I'm so glad you answered!”

“What is it? What's wrong?” He is now aware of your distress and ready to fight, if necessary.

“I had a terrible scare! I was readying for bed and it, it...nearly touched me!”

“Who did?”

“It was awful! Just dreadful! My skin is still crawling!”

“What happened?!” He grips your shaking shoulders, trying to make sense of your near hysterics. “Tell me!”

“A spider!”

“A spi- are you joking? A spider?” He releases you and sighs. “That's all? You woke me up for that?”

“Sorry! Uh, so, will you take care of it for me?”

“It probably scurried off.”

‘I’m not sure, I couldn’t stand to watch it.”

“Did you scream?”

“I'm embarrassed to admit I may have screamed.”

“Then it probably scurried off. It would take me all night to find it.”

“It was very large, you couldn't miss it.”

“Sure it was. I can tell you a thing or two about large spiders. Have I ever told you about the ones in Mirkwood?”

“Please, no! I don't want to be reminded!”

“They were so big you could ride em'.”

“Ugh!” You turn away, hugging your arms across your body. He playfully runs his fingers up the back of your neck.

“Fíli! Stop! Is this funny to you? I am distraught!”

“No, but I think you are overreacting a bit though.”

“Even so, what am I to do? The thought of that thing creeping about my room will keep me awake.”

“You can't possibly be suggesting-”

“Only if I'm invited.”

“It’s not proper, sorry.”

“Please?”

“You can’t stay in here, in my bedroom, it’s not…” he stammers.

“I’m sorry to trouble you, then. It is silly, isn’t it? I’ll see if Kíli will help.”

“Wait! Kíli, he, uh...doesn’t do well with spiders.”

“Really?”

“Yes, he’s sure to panic at the mention of them.”

“We have common ground then. You seem indifferent to my peril.”

“Peril? Ha!”

“It could have been poisonous!”

He seems to be undergoing an internal struggle. He looks back and forth between you, inside his room, and around the corner. “Why did you come here first, may I ask?”

“Because you're…brave, exceptionally brave,” you can’t help but blush. “If asked what one word there is to describe Fíli, everyone would say ‘brave.’”

“Come in.”

The flattery must have worked.

“Don’t tell anyone you were here. We’ll both be in trouble.”

“Understood.”

He tosses a few blankets over a furry rug on the floor, once a beast of indiscernible origin.

“Thank you, Fíli. What a fine princely room this is.”

He notices you eyeing the opulent bed, covered in more pillows than could ever be necessary.

“No, sorry. It’s not –”

“Oh, I wasn’t…of course it’s not. I wasn’t assuming that you should –”

“Goodnight,” he mumbles. The bed creaks when his weight crashes onto it.

You spend a rough few minutes struggling to find a comfortable position, tossing and turning and sighing. The rustling must have irked Fíli, because he is now standing over you.

“Go,” he points to the bed, eyes half closed. “Take it.”

“Oh no, I couldn’t!”

“We’ll both feel better about it, I insist,” he assures in drowsy monotone.

You never meant to cause this much trouble! It wasn’t your fault though, it was the spider. You reluctantly swap places, but once you melt into the soft warmth there is no problem getting cozy.

You are about to fall asleep when a frantic commotion rouses you, a one-sided tussle with thrashing and cursing. Lots of cursing.

“What is it?!”

“Spider!” Fíli shakes his head so violently that his beads are now weapons. “On my face!”

“No! Can it be following me? Where did it go?”

“I don’t know!” He rushes onto the bed.

“Wait, stay back! It could still be on you!”

He swats at his hair, shakes out his clothes, acts exactly how you had minus the high pitched screams.

“I thought you weren’t afraid of spiders?”

“It was on my face!”

“But what about the giant ones, you said-”

“It was on my FACE!”

“There it is! It’s coming toward us," you shriek. "Get it, get it!”

“I’m not stepping on it barefoot!”

“Then throw something at it!”

“You throw something at it, I still can’t see straight!”

You lunge for the sword hanging over the bed.

“No! You can’t throw that!”

“Then what do we do?!”

The spider stops and stares at you with its many sinister eyes, plotting. You grab Fíli around his waist and press your head into his shoulder.

“Are you using me as a shield!?”

“Yes! Tell me when it’s gone! I can’t bear to look at it.”

The door swings open, startling you and Fíli and even the spider.

“I’m trying to sleep, what’s this noise about?” Kíli is taken back at the sight of both of you cowering on the bed, arms wrapped around each other.

“What are you doing in here? Ooooh Fíli’s breaking the ruuuules! Tsk tsk.”

You loosen your grip. Fíli scoots over in the opposite direction.

“I can explain!”

“I don't think I want to kn- ewww!” Kíli stomps on the spider. It crunches beneath his foot. “I hate those things. This place is infested with them, I swear. I won’t tell anyone, whatever it is you’re doing, but keep it quiet, please?”

“Yes,” you whisper. "It was all very innocent, you see. We just had a fright, that's all.”

“What happened?”

“We’re fine now,” Fíli answers and shoos his brother out.

“Huh, Kíli to the rescue, go figure.”

Fíli doesn't seem as grateful. “Well, I’ve saved him plenty of times. He would’ve had the same reaction if he woke up to it crawling on his face!”

“For what it’s worth, I still think you’re very brave.”

“I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone what happened,” he asks, cheeks reddening.

“I won’t. I was never in here, remember?”

“Right.”

“But, so you know, I don't think any less of you for being frightened of spiders.”

“I’m not! Do you know how many I’ve slain? Afraid? Me? Of that tiny thing?!”

“Then why did you carry on like that?”

“Because it startled me!”

“I see. Should I take my chances here or do I have to hang around Kíli for my safety?”

“No, no you stay right where you are.” He is firm about this. You must have struck a chord and you can't help but smirk.

“Alright, Fíli, I’ll stay. To protect you.”

“If I hadn't given you my bed, it would've gotten you! It wouldn't be so amusing then, would it?”

“There’s plenty of room here,” you offer, patting the mattress. “No spiders in here. I would feel awful if another vile creature interrupted your sleep.”

“Are you offering me space on my own bed?”

“It's only fair. I don't think they'll bother if there's two of us together.”

“That makes no sense,” he groans.

“Am I really worse than sleeping on the ground with spiders?”

“It's not that, no! I’m only...it's…but….”

“Alright then. Now please join me.”

Both of you settle in, hopefully for the last time of the night. Under that many blankets, you were definitely out of the spiders’ reach.

“Goodnight. Again.”

Not long after, something brushes against your leg. A tickle.

“Fíli! You made a big deal over how it wasn't appropriate for me to be in here and now you’re –”

“I didn’t do anything.”

“You didn’t? You didn’t touch me just now?”

“No.”

“Sweet bearded Durin!”

“Is no place safe!?”

****

“Kíli, come on! You owe me a lot of favors. A lot.”

“You are so very brave, Kíli.” Fíli squints at you, possibly offended. It worked before, had it not?

“Oh, alright, fine. But this is slightly ridiculous, and that’s coming from me. You can stay.”

“It's not my fault there are spiders in my damned bed. Wait, Kíli, put some trousers on first. She doesn't need to see your underclothes.”

“Right, where are my manners?” There's fumbling behind the door and he returns a moment later. “There, is that better?”

"Honestly I hadn't even noticed,” you admit. It appears Fíli is more concerned with protecting you from underwear than spiders. 

“Come on in. Mind the mess, I wasn’t expecting a slumber party.”

You navigate across a floor littered with clothes and weapons, nearly tripping over a stray arrow.

“It’s safety in numbers,” you explain. “The spiders won’t mess with three of us.”

“At least it’s not bats. I hate bats,” Kíli confesses.

“There are bats too?” You cringe.

“Yes but I use them as target practice.”

“That's a very heroic contribution. Keeping us safe from flying nuisances!”

“Bats don't attack you while you sleep,” Fíli points out. “Unlike spiders.”

“It attacked you now, did it, brother?

“Nearly bit my nose.”

“Sure it did. Please, make yourselves comfortable. I have the softest bed under the mountain.”

“No, Kíli, we can't all possibly sleep on there.”

“But I don't mind. Desperate times call for unusual sleeping arrangements.”

“It's inappropriate.”

“And she doesn't mind, do you?”

“No, not at all,” you answer a little too quickly.

“See? There’s plenty of room, the more the merrier! It can fit five or six. Not that I’ve tried that, but...just don’t kick me, Fíli.” He hands you a pillow. “You can be the buffer, if you think you can handle it.”

“Anything is better than the terror I've had to endure tonight.”

“Aw, don't worry! I’ll protect you.”

“We’ll BOTH protect you,” Fíli adds. You never realized before how competitive they are, or maybe it's the lack of sleep and threat of eight-legged invasion that's changing the dynamic. Either way, you find it endearing, even if you're unsure exactly what they're competing for.

“Goodnight. For the last time.”

“I hope so.”

“Sleep tight. Don't let the spiders bite.”

“Kíli! Shut it.”

You lie awake but unmoving, on alert for extra legs. Your bedmates are out cold within a matter of minutes. Fíli mumbles something about...apples? Kíli is actually the kicker, albeit a gentle one. He's obviously chasing something in his dreams.

_Bless those spiders_ , you think as you drift to sleep nestled between two pleasantly warm bodies.

 


End file.
